Look, I'm Moving On
by wowgoshdarnit
Summary: COMPLETE Blaine thought he was past it. He thought his deep dark secrets, could well, stay his deep dark secrets; but then he met Kurt. Kurt made him feel things, made him feel whole again where he could just forget. But when Kurt leaves to New York to pursue his dreams Blaine's past comes back with a vengeance, will Kurt still be able to love him when he meets Eli C? SOME fluff
1. Chapter 1: Teenage Dream

**Look, I'm Moving On**

**A/N: **Read it :-)

**Warnings: **TYPOS, Angst, Smut, Trigger warning: there's cutting and vague explanation of homicide, Slash- male|male pairings, that's all I can think of right now.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these fckn characters yo they all belong to Mr. Murphy and Fox and shit.

[It's been heavily** revised**]

**Rate/Review/Blah/Blah: Do all that ok**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND STUFFS**

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**Chapter One: Teenage Dream (Acoustic Version)**

"Blaine… who is Elliot? You have a missed call from him…" Kurt called out to Blaine.

Momentarily startled by Kurt's question, Blaine faltered while wrapping the towel around his waist. Why was he calling? Their next meeting wasn't for another week. Shaking his head, Blaine quickly tied the towel and made his way to his bedroom. Stepping through the threshold of his en suite, he nervously ran his hands through his damp hair while casually stating, "He's… he's just a class mate, honey."

Slightly relieved by his answer, Kurt gracefully sat himself on Blaine's bed after returning his boyfriend's phone to the dresser. Uncertainty about the current standing of his relationship with Blaine had plagued Kurt throughout the entire plane ride home resulting in a mild panic attack and an emotionally wounded Aviatrix. The consequential tension during Thanksgiving dinner with Blaine, Rachel and family, was so palpable that Kurt swore he could cut through it with his butter knife. Luckily, the next morning Burt understood that he and Blaine needed their time alone to sort things out, so he allowed Kurt to leave with Blaine for an isolated reunion. While Blaine was asleep, Burt made Kurt promise to spend the last day of his break with him and Carole, which was readily agreed to.

Mid-afternoon after a nice quiet breakfast, they were finally on the road. The drive to Blaine's house was incredibly awkward due to Blaine's unnerving distance—his out of character silence. Finally seated in Blaine's bedroom, they managed to have civil small talk until Blaine deemed himself filthy and in need of a shower. This left Kurt in a state of mild distress. The little pep talk he gave himself helped a little because really, this was nothing a Hummel couldn't handle. When Kurt finally heard the water pelting against the shower walls, he was startled out of his lazy sprawl when out of nowhere Blaine's phone rings and some strange guys name shows on the screen, a _guy_ that Kurt wasn't familiar with. He trusted Blaine, but distance did tend to put strain on relationships… and he was so far away from him, not able to _satisfy_ or console him. With Thanksgiving dinner and everything that had happened when he'd landed, he didn't have time to sit and really think about all of this. His little reprieve with Blaine was definitely what they both needed to square away their issues.

"I'm so happy to be back here with you, Blaine." Kurt shyly peered at Blaine through his lashes. "I've missed you so much. It's _fantastic_ out in New York, believe me, but… it's not the same without you there."

Feeling his recurring guilt rear its ugly head for all of the things he'd been keeping from Kurt, Blaine slowly made his way to his boyfriend and leaned down to kiss him, hoping to distract and reacquaint himself with his lover. Something he wasn't able to do under Burt's watchful eye.

The kiss began as a simple and sweet chaste press of lips, but soon progressed to the couple's usual passion and fervor as Kurt gently ran his fingers through Blaine's freshly washed curls and deepened it, nipping at his bottom lip to gain access to his mouth. Blaine moaned as he opened up to Kurt's inquisitive tongue, gently pushing him onto his back to straddle his waist. After ten luxurious minutes of reveling in Kurt's attention, Blaine reluctantly pulled away.

"I've missed you too, Kurt. The Skype dates and texts can only do so much…" Blaine leaned down to Kurt's ear to nip at the lobe, drawing a breathy moan from Kurt's swollen lips.

"I've missed touching you here," and he trailed his hand down Kurt's chest and around to his hip, resting it there to gently massage the small amount of exposed flesh.

"And kissing you here," His lips slowly made their journey down Kurt's ear to ghost tender kisses along the shell of ear then down to his jaw where he peppered Kurt's jaw with gentle presses of his lips and finally to his neck to draw the delicate skin into his mouth, endeavoring to once again mark Kurt as his.

His efforts elicited a whimper from his beautiful glassy-eyed boyfriend.

"But most of all, I've missed your scent and taste so much… vanilla and strawberries."

Kurt pulled Blaine's mouth back up to his, to show Blaine just how much his words meant to him, and how much he'd missed Blaine's intoxicating kisses.

"Make love to me, Blaine?" Kurt mumbled against Blaine's mouth, his lips lightly brushing Blaine's as he spoke.

In response, Blaine released a throaty groan before he fully untucked Kurt's shirt, pulling it over his head whilst ignoring Kurt's indignant growl at mussing his hair, and throwing the article across the room. When the beautiful pale skin of Kurt's chest became exposed to Blaine's hazel stare, the thoughts and feelings that overwhelmed him made him weak with desire.

"You're so perfect, Kurt. I still can't believe you're mine, even after all of this time…" and with this claim Blaine lightly pressed his lips to Kurt's, once, twice, then trailed his tongue along the edges of Kurt's lips.

Allowing Blaine's tongue into his mouth, Kurt sighed in contentment as he felt the little muscle take small gentle swipes at his own tongue. He'd missed having his boyfriend with him every day. Blaine had been a huge part of his life for the past two years, after all. He'd even missed glee club. Growing up and making a life of his own was tough work, but it was worth it. His internship at Vogue was going really well. He had an amazing boss, and he had his best gal, Rachel. What more could he ask for? His subconscious kindly gave an answer: _Blaine…_ at the reminder of his boyfriend, Kurt was drawn back to the present when he felt Blaine unbutton his pants.

"_Blaine_… I want you in me so badly." Kurt said in-between a breathy moan, loosening the knot on Blaine's hip that held him from his lover's swollen cock.

When Blaine was stripped out of his towel, he stopped their progress to slowly undo the zipper on Kurt's skinny jeans and sidle them down his thin, pale thighs, purposefully skimming his knuckles down the tent in his Calvin Klein briefs. Feeling Blaine's knuckles teasingly run down his hardened member through his briefs caused Kurt to release a sound that startled him; a sound stuck between a moan and yelp, which making Blaine more eager for the prize that awaited him hiding under the layers of fabric. Blaine made quick work of completely disrobing Kurt to marvel at the beautifully sculpted contours of his boyfriend's lean body.

He loved to admire Kurt.

The way his alabaster skin glistened with a thin layer of perspiration from the intimate way their body heat entwined to escalate the temperature in the room, the temperatures of their bodies, and his pert little pink nipples that lay on lightly defined breast bones… but he specifically adored the way the lean muscles of Kurt's stomach quivered whenever he ghosted his hand over his most private parts.

He truly was a work of art in Blaine's opinion, and his hardened cock gave a twitch as he looked down to see Kurt's reddened member throb and leak pre-cum.

"I'm going to make you feel so good, Kurt. You don't understand what you do to me."

Blaine reached over to his night stand to get the lube and condoms he had stashed away for them. Getting the bottle open soon showed a difficult task as Kurt's relentless hands kept grasping his body, tenderly caressing his erogenous zones until he was just a panting mess.

"Kurt... I won't be able to _make love _to you if you keep_ touching me like that_." Blaine said in a tone that spoke his sexual frustration.

He was so hard and all he wanted to do was take Kurt dry and hear the pretty little noises his perfect little bow mouth would release when he was jack hammering his prostate, but his very _imaginative_ visual was halted when he heard Kurt's horrified whisper.

"B-Blaine, why… why are there cuts… in your inner thigh? They… they look pretty new…" Kurt said, a little frightened by the sight.

The fear and mortification that shot through Blaine's system at the realization that Kurt had discovered part of his secret made Blaine shoot off the bed and across the room to the restroom.

What could he say to Kurt? _"Hey, Kurt, I cut and there's a lot more you don't know about me that I've been hiding since we met. The only problem is, I didn't tell you because it wasn't a problem at the time."_ Not likely. So he hid in the restroom as he tried to formulate a plausible lie, but as soon as he had the door closed and looked to his still wet shower where his razor sat; he had it.

"Blaine… Blaine baby, please. I'm sorry… I didn't mean to scare you… it's just I didn't know you…" Kurt tried through the door, not in the least bit worried about his nudity, but was cut off when Blaine came out of the restroom smirking while holding his razor.

"Kurt, what are you talking about?" Blaine gave a convincingly cheerful chuckle. "I cut myself yesterday morning when I slipped in the shower. I was trying to be as freshly groomed as possible for _you_." Here he kissed Kurt's nose, "But I clumsily fell while trying to get _into_ my shower and my razor was just sitting there." Sigh. "It's completely embarrassing, but you know me..." Blaine gave a sheepish smile to try and convey a playfulness that was the farthest thing from what he was actually feeling.

"Oh. Oh, _Blaine!_ Why'd you run away like that? You scared me half to death! I thought that... that you _cut_yourself purposefully. That's ridiculous. You would never."

The slight disgust at the prospect of Blaine intentionally harming himself was overlapped by the relief that was clearly shown in Kurt's opulent glas_z _eyes as he accepted Blaine's lie. Kurt obviously didn't want to believe Blaine capable of any type of duplicitousness, even more, _purposefully_ hurting himself, so he played along and tried to forget about the fact that even if you did fall against a razor it would not only pierce the flesh, but cut a layer or two off if there were any leverage for the little device.

"Well since we've gotten that worked out. I think we were in the middle of something before we were so abruptly interrupted?" Kurt gave Blaine a heated look, albeit, the sentiment was a little forced.

"Yes," Blaine inched forward until his naked chest was touching Kurt's and his re-hardening cock was pressing against Kurt's stomach, "yes we were. We definitely have some unfinished business I'd like to _discuss_ with you over here at my bed." And they definitely had a nice _talk _with one another over the next several hours.

**-?-**

"You awake, Blaine?" Kurt whispered later that evening as they lay in bed exhausted and satiated from their extensive and very thorough _discussions_ throughout the day.

It truly was their best love making. Blaine typically topped when they made love, but they'd alternated as the day progressed causing them both to soar to new heights of ecstasy. They'd experimented with new learned positions and after they'd orgasm harder than they thought humanly possible, they'd cuddle and doze off only to wake up and make love again or grab snacks.

Blaine lay on his back staring at the ceiling, especially glad that it was Saturday and his aunt and uncle wouldn't be home until Monday morning. He didn't know if he'd be able to give up having Kurt all to himself for _school_ and his _family_. There were certain things teenage boys needed—sex being a number one priority. He was called from his musings when he felt, rather than heard, Kurt's soothing voice whisper a breath of air across his shoulder as he spoke.

"Mmm? Yea…" Blaine's voice came out heavy with disuse. Or more correctly, abandonment of legible, coherent English to monosyllable moans and whines.

"I... love you. I'm so glad I have you." Kurt tightened his arm around Blaine's waist and kissed his shoulder lovingly. "I-I know I haven't been the best boyfriend as of late… because I've been busy with work, but I want you to know that I do care. I care a lot about what's going on here with you." After a moment's pause, Kurt continued. "I'm so proud of you for winning the election, baby."

Hearing Kurt admit he was wrong and that he did care, reaffirming his love for him, made Blaine's heart constrict and he turned over on his side to face Kurt and stare into his adoring gaze.

"I-Kurt. Thank you. It means a lot to me to hear you say that. I just… I want to make you proud to call me your boyfriend. Proud of me. I did this all for you. I came to McKinley for _you._ And I've gained so much more than I thought I ever would have if we hadn't met… and gotten to know each other. You're my first love. My _only_ love. It hurt me to the _core_ when you weren't accepting my calls. I thought you were moving on. Growing up in New York and forgetting about your young small-town boyfriend; but hearing you say this just confirms that we can do this."

At the end of Blaine's speech he took a breath and realized that he'd been looking down as he spoke. When he felt Kurt gently take his chin in his hand and raise his head up to look him in the eyes, his breath caught when he saw the raw emotion in Kurt's eyes. The love, sadness, pride, and so many more emotions he couldn't even place.

He felt his eyes water and a tear slip free and slide down his cheek at Kurt's words, "You have _always_ made me proud, Blaine. I love you more than words can describe and I want, I _need_ you to understand that. I'm so sorry that I made you feel that way. It was not my intention, and in the future I will try and call you back as _soon_ as I'm able to."

Kurt stopped to take a shuddery breath, "You are my true love and I can't see myself without my _"young small-town boyfriend"._ Don't you ever doubt my feelings or the strength of our relationship. It'll be rough with the distance and everything, until you're there with me, but I'll always be here. Fighting for us, and I hope you feel the same." He gently wiped the tears away from Blaine's cheeks then brought their foreheads together and linked their fingers.

"Kurt…" Blaine was speechless.

Kurt just gave him a small smile and squeezed his hands.

"Of-of course I feel the same. I love you. I love_ us_. I want a family with you someday…"

"And I want the same thing." Kurt touched their noses together, pulled their clasped hands to his chest and softly whispered, "Promise me one thing?"

"What's that?" Blaine said a little breathlessly. Kurt always made him dizzy with all of the emotions he evoked in him.

"That if you're ever feeling insecure about… about yourself or us that you'll think about our future. If I'm not able to talk or come home to you, think about our family, okay?" He waited patiently for Blaine to reply.

"Yes. Okay."

A heavy silence descended upon the couple as they lost themselves in their thoughts. The waning tendrils of sunlight the only source of light for the room as they thought over everything they'd discussed. Blaine didn't know if the ever-growing tension he was experiencing was due to the prospect of not having contact with Kurt in the future, or if it came from the never-ending lies he'd been spinning for years, more recently—today. This was essentially the first time he'd ever lied directly to Kurt and he didn't like the possibility of it continuing. Yes, he felt insecure and frightened of how his revelations would be conveyed… but would it be so bad to let the man of his dreams, the man he'd been waiting his life for, know that he was less innocent than he was originally thought to be? Would it be so bad to tell Kurt what really happened to his parents? Kurt, the most kind-hearted caring man he'd ever met. Surely, Kurt wouldn't fault him for events that were beyond his control.

Sighing in defeat Blaine gently shook his head and let his mind wander to other less depressing topics.

Some fifteen minutes later, the sun had settled neatly beneath the horizon, leaving Blaine and Kurt in a calm darkness.

"Blaine?"

"Mmm?"

"You make me feel like I'm living a teenage dream." Kurt softly sang.

And with those last words they wrapped themselves in the blankets and became entangled in limbs as they fell asleep more in love with each other than they'd ever been. Even if the look in Blaine's had seemed a little melancholy.

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**A/N**: Okay. Well, that was fun. Review and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading.

I'm not perfect. I make mistakes.

**LET ME KNOW WHEN I DO, SO I CAN FIX THEM.**


	2. Chapter 2: Figure 8

**A/N:** So I decided to continue it. If I can write a 25k+ word fic for a fan base I've recently joined, I can write a full story for a fandom I've been a part of for the past 3 years. So here we are. Back again. This chapter is a little conflict. It's where the angst is introduced, however, not detrimental to our beloved Klaine. It's the ascent in a journey and explains a tad bit further what's going on with our little Blainers.

Thanks for the hits and people who've reviewed. I've made heavy revisions to the first chapter and summary so check that out if you haven't seen them. Meh, okay I'll stop talking now.

**Warnings:** In first chapter. Addition: rimming. (-: Do I have to warn that it's NC-17?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these fckn characters yo they all belong to Mr. Murphy and Fox and shit.

**Rate/Review/Blah/Blah: Do all that ok**

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**Chapter Two: Figure 8**

The next morning Kurt woke up to the soft caress of morning light filtering in through the open window. Turning over in the warm sheets, Kurt was sad to find that Blaine had already gone. He laid in bed for a few more minutes, basking in the warm glow of their shared night. Feeling much more relaxed than he had in days, Kurt got up to lazily stretch before shuffling off in search of his boyfriend in nothing more than his quickly retrieved boy shorts and a t-shirt. Before Kurt got out of the little hall leading to the dining room, he heard Blaine holding a heated conversation with…_ Elliot,_ so obviously he stopped to listen.

"I can't really talk right now, Eli. My boyfriend is back in town. Yes… I know. I need to see you too, but I can't until he goes back—no, nothing's happening. It's _fine_! I have to go; I can't have him knowing about you. Not _yet_, okay?"

As he slowly walked around the corner into the open dining room he saw Blaine angrily end the phone call.

"Blaine?"

Blaine turned around quickly, wide hazel eyes holding an unreadable expression. Kurt furrowed his eyebrows at Blaine's odd behavior. Why was he being so secretive?

"Hi, sweetie. Sorry if I woke you… my uncle called to check in on me." He chuckled as he walked to Kurt, intent on giving him a morning kiss, but was surprised to find Kurt turn away from him.

"Blaine, why are you lying to me?" The look of confusion and hurt Kurt sent Blaine made him feel ashamed. Lying was a rare, if ever present, occurrence with Blaine when it came to Kurt. Not even under extreme duress did he lie to Kurt, but this was different. He simply couldn't tell him the truth.

Blaine didn't know what to do. He wasn't ready for Kurt to look at him with accusation and fear after revealing the secrets he's been keeping for so long, but obviously Kurt had heard his conversation, or at least part of it, so he had to tell him _something_.

"I'm-I'm sorry I lied. That was Elliot. My classmate I told you about yesterday. We're doing a project together and he needs to meet with me soon; I just didn't want you to get worked up over nothing." Lying came easier to Blaine than he'd ever feel comfortable with.

Kurt stared at Blaine for a moment. He felt helpless to believe him—this was his prep-school boyfriend who got hives whenever they swore outside of the throes of passion—but something was nagging at him; telling him that there was more to this Elliot situation than Blaine was letting on. But a relationship was nothing without trust and Kurt trusted Blaine with his most precious of McQueen and Marc Jacobs' collections, so he brushed it off as paranoia incited by their extended time apart.

"Oh, okay." He smiled at Blaine and pulled him into a slow, tender kiss. "What are we having for breakfast?"

Blaine chuckled as he pulled away from Kurt to head for the kitchen.

"What would you like, Mr. Hummel? I am at your disposal." At this he gave a grand bow in Kurt's general direction when he reached the refrigerator.

"Well, good sir, I would like a fruit salad, don't forget the yogurt, and a nice cold glass of orange juice." Kurt said in a voice of mock-snobbery.

He giggled at their antics as he took a seat at the island to watch Blaine busy himself with preparing their meals.

**-?-**

_You'll have to tell him soon. You can't keep secrets from someone you say you love. It's just not right…_ willing Dr. Elliot's voice away, Blaine tried to focus back in on what Kurt was animatedly describing.

Lying to the one man he never thought he'd ever keep anything from was tearing away at Blaine's heart. He just felt horrible, like he was _cheating_ in a way by not telling Kurt about his reinstated meetings with Eli, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't ready to have Kurt turn those beautiful eyes on him in horror and pity like all the others.

Elliot P. Carson was his therapist. He'd been seeing him from the day his aunt and uncle had realized that the _incident_ had "traumatized" him. He assumed that the pictures he'd been drawing had frightened them; it wasn't every day that you saw a six year old drawing homicidal pictures of a woman slitting the throat of a man, then mutilating his body—he went through _red_ phase and it wasn't uncommon to associate blood with red, but whatever. The sessions with Eli had helped him back then. He shrugged away the dark memories as Kurt started talking about Rachel's break up with Finn.

"-and Finn was _devastated_ when Rachel broke up with him, poor boy. Did you feel the tension between them during dinner the other night? It was virtually tangible! It's not as though she's been any better, though…" Kurt shook his head mournfully as he picked up his drink and took a sip. "So, enough about me and the usual dramatics of my life. Tell me more about how your year is going, Mr. Class President." He gave Blaine a flirtatious smile, which was hesitantly returned.

"It's interesting. I'm having a lot of fun feeling around and seeing how I'm supposed to act in my new position. Did I tell you about all the clubs I joined?"

Blaine looked at Kurt, excitement brightening his eyes. When Kurt shook his head no, he launched into the great tale of how he'd joined the Advanced D&D club, the Sewing Club, and the Superhero Sidekicks Appreciation Club. His favorite being the Superhero Sidekicks Club, of course; the Robin suit did things for his physique.

"Kurt, you should have seen us! We were fantastic! All of the other sidekicks were really into their roles and we were just in the room kickin' ass like there was no tomorrow. I really think you would have liked me in the costume." He winked at his boyfriend and continued to recount the stories of the adventures he and his new friends had been on.

Unfortunately, all of Blaine's stories made Kurt regret the time they'd spent apart. He'd missed out on so much in Blaine's life, but it was his own fault. He'd rectify that problem right now by giving the love of his life his undivided attention.

"I'm sure I would have, _baby_." Kurt purred. "Do you still have the costume? I'd be more than willing to test the legitimacy of your theories."

The smoldering look Kurt sent Blaine, along with the husky quality that took over his usually melodic voice, had Blaine biting back a groan.

"God, I've missed you. We can finish catching up later. I have… some _talking_ to do with you. Let's go back to my room." Blaine yanked Kurt from his seat and they practically ran back to the sanctuary Blaine's bed offered.

As soon as they were inside the room, Blaine kicked the door closed and pinned Kurt against the wall to breath his next words against his supple rosy lips, "I'll be sure to pull out my tights sometime before you leave. But right now, I have some new things to show you. The internet can be quite lucrative when you're home alone pining away for your sexy boyfriend."

Their lips meet in an age old dance that they never seemed to tire of. Every time their bodies met and molded to become one, and their lips and tongues entwined to play a relentless game of cat and mouse, it was like the first time. The passion and fire of their love making never died. The heat of their intimacy always threatened to scorch them when the sensations became too intense, but neither boy would have it any other way.

Kurt drew in a shaky breath as Blaine's talented lips made their pilgrimage from the corner of his mouth down to his jaw where they took a detour to the heavily beating pulse point to lave it with attention. Kurt's hands made their way into the soft tresses of his lover's hair. His finger's took on a mind of their own and began to gently run through the soft curls.

'_God, love it when he does that.' _Kurt's internal monologue was cut off with a needy cry when he felt Blaine pinch his right nipple lightly. He began to pant as he drove his hips into the unrelenting pressure Blaine's held on his to keep him pinned to the door.

"Fo-for someone so _short_, you're so strong, Blaine. It's so _hot_." The breathless statement only fueled Blaine's libido further. He pulled Kurt away from the door and picked him up; wrapping Kurt's toned thighs around his waist to carry him to the bed.

"You know height has… nothing… to do with… strength, Kurt."

Landing on the bed in an ungraceful tangle of limbs, Blaine fell into the open V of Kurt's thighs. Kurt in turn trailed his long fingers down Blaine's back, caressing it through the thin material of his wife beater.

Restless and horny, both boys sought out the mouth of the other to continue the tango their tongues danced. As they sparred for control and dominance, Blaine began to rock his hips down into Kurt's in a frenzied pace; making sure to align their hardened cocks to create the most friction. He wanted to encourage those glorious sounds from Kurt's sweet lips and wasn't disappointed when wanton moans fell from Kurt's throat to Blaine's awaiting lips.

The passion of their kisses left Kurt shaking with the strength of them. He needed more.

"Oh…. Blaine, yes… so intense. Please…"

Blaine didn't need to be told twice. He quickly divested them of their clothes, retreating back to the warmth of Kurt's body. When Kurt opened his arms to accept Blaine back down to his body, Blaine shook his head. He had other plans for their love making today. He wanted to taste every inch of Kurt's silken flesh, so he gently pushed Kurt's arms back down to the bed and began his journey at the base of Kurt's throat where he showered the little crevice with feather light kisses. Kurt's heart beat sped up to an impossibly more furious pace, but Blaine paid no mind to the little pulsing point indicating his lover's excitement. He took his kisses lower to gently nip and suck along Kurt's collarbone.

'So good. So good. Yes.' Kurt was in heaven; the sensations so poignant.

Unbeknownst to him, Blaine's thoughts were circulating in a similar fashion.

'God, his skin tastes so sweet. So good.'

Even with the thin layer of salt from their previous tryst, Blaine loved the way the musky flavors mingled on his tongue, making his mouth water. He continued to kiss and nibble his way down Kurt's body, making sure to pay close attention to his nipples—they were just beckoning his tongue.

The breathy moans and squirming only encouraged Blaine to continue his ministrations further. When he finally reached the little cleft his boyfriend's bellybutton made, he dipped his tongue in experimentally, flicking it around in the depths.

Kurt arched his back perfectly and let out one of the sexiest sounds Blaine had ever heard. Kurt's bellybutton had always been sensitive. Whenever Blaine would play with it, Kurt would get so agonizingly turned on, he'd have to suck him off during one of their shared passing periods. It was great, though, during the year to help relieve some of Kurt's collegial stress. In the comfort of their back row seats in physics class Blaine would reach over and snake his fingers in between the little holes Kurt's button-down shirts would allow and he'd gently run the pad of his thumb along the rim of it, causing Kurt to let out that delicious noise. Needless to say, they had a lot of sex during the year and their teachers always had a curious expression whenever they'd see them outside of class.

He was not let down now when he got the same result, just a less muffled version. After an erotically long session of tongue fishing, Blaine finally made his way to Kurt's weeping member. He teased Kurt by breathing over the engorged head of his cock, neglecting to put actual contact on it.

"Ngh, please. Please…" Delightfully, Blaine listened to Kurt's inane babbling.

He'd reduced his boyfriend to a begging mess and it only made him more eager.

"Tsk. Tsk. Not right now, baby. In a minute."

Blaine pulled Kurt's legs farther apart and trailed his index finger down Kurt's perineum, avoiding his quivering scrotum, down to his swollen little pucker. He watched, transfixed, as the little muscle flexed under his teasing of the little pink wrinkles.

Kurt had the most beautiful ass.

Blaine continued to play with Kurt's entrance gingerly pushing against the resisting muscles with his thumb; however, Kurt was tired of the games.

"Blaine Warbler Anderson… if… if you don't fuck me right now. I-" His threat was halted when Blaine replaced his fingers with his mouth.

"God. Yes. Yes. Yes. YES!" Blaine took his time licking around the little ring and swirling the tip of his tongue across the entrance.

If Kurt's shouts and moans were anything to go by, Blaine would say he was enjoying himself. Ever slowly, Blaine pushed passed the resistance Kurt's hole gave and moaned at the musky taste of his boyfriend. Getting into a rhythm, Blaine began to languidly tongue fuck Kurt.

"Blaine. Blaine. Yes, oh yes! Please… more… love you so much. Oh, yes, fuck me."

Blaine loved it when Kurt became undone like this. He loved sucking on his tight little hole causing his usually controlled boyfriend to become unraveled in the face of intense pleasure only he could give him.

Only him. Kurt was his. No one elses'. He could go off cavorting in New York with all those other potential partners, but he would always come back to Blaine for this. For all the love that Blaine gave him.

Mentally shaking himself of his insecurities Blaine put more focus into making Kurt come. He gave in to the shrill cries of his lover and took his swollen, red member into his hand and began to pump in time to his thrusting.

"So… close. Oh… so close. Want you in me. Please."

Not wanting Kurt to come without him, Blaine quickly pulled out of his moist entrance and retrieved the lube from the nightstand where they'd left it yesterday. He heard Kurt's pitiful whimper, but was back within minutes, rubbing the lubricant over himself and briefly passing his fingers over and in Kurt's hole to lather it more generously than his saliva ensured.

Soon he was poised at Kurt's entrance, insistent demands from his impatient lover being ignored; Blaine took his time breaching the warm muscle. Only when Kurt securely hooked his thighs around Blaine's, in turn, pulling him in faster, did his speed pick up.

Once fully seated in his boyfriend, Blaine gave Kurt time to adjust to his intrusion. When their eyes met, lust blown pupils locking on one another's they were lost in their shared love. The emotion was so poignant that it was virtually hanging between them as they essentially looked into the depths of their souls, exploring all the different underlying feelings. The intimacy of their coupling amplifying the feelings:

Love, adoration, desire, lust.

The most prominent being pride. Pride in all they'd overcome and were still overcoming. Pride in their partners. Pride for their lover's accomplishments. They were truly in love, and Blaine wanted to make certain that Kurt knew how much he loved him, so, ever the leisurely lover, Blaine pulled out until his shaft was barely sheathed, and took his time reseating himself in the velvety heat of his boyfriend.

The precious way Kurt's mouth opened to make a moistened 'O' when he found the little bundle of nerves that sent shockwaves of sensation through his body was almost Blaine's undoing. He was so beautiful. Blaine began to rock into Kurt's tight heat more fervently when Kurt started clenching himself around Blaine for encouragement.

"Love it… when… oh… you get all tight around me. Gonna come in your firm little ass, Kurt."

Blaine's lewd bedroom talk never failed to push Kurt over the sensual precipice. He was lost in the white-noise of his earth shattering release, faintly feeling the pearly white streaks of his come coating his and Blaine's stomachs.

Moments later he felt Blaine pulse one last time before he thrust into him to paint the inside walls of his rectum with his essence.

Satiated and overwhelmingly tired Blaine tenderly pulled out of Kurt to lie beside him. He felt boneless and exquisitely exhausted. Their usual post coital cuddle would ensue right… after. There it was. He was up and on his way to his restroom to get a towel to clean them up so they could nap somewhat cleanly.

He returned to a heavy-lidded Kurt watching him.

"You're so good to me, you know? I love you." Kurt whispered as Blaine gently ran the cloth over his delicate skin to clean up their mess.

Blaine's blush was incredibly endearing.

"Not as good as you. I love you too." Blaine quickly cleaned himself and pulled the covers out so he and Kurt could get under them to relax into each other's arms.

"That was mind-blowing. I've nev-never felt anything quite so deep, Blaine." Kurt bit his lip bashfully, an embarrassed flush darkening his already flushed skin from his bold statement.

Blaine chuckled as he pulled Kurt closer.

"I felt it too. I don't know why, but that was the strongest orgasm I've ever had." Kurt snuggled further into Blaine's arms, luxuriating in being with the only man he ever loved.

"Mmhm." Kurt yawned and Blaine looked down to see him close his eyes.

He truly loved Kurt. There was no one else; there could never be anyone else. He'd have to tell him about his secrets soon. This was much too important to keep from someone as important to him as Kurt was. He just… needed more time. A little more time.

The last thing Blaine thought about before he fell into a peaceful sleep was that he hoped Kurt could understand and would still love him, after. After he found out about the incident and the subsequent events.

* * *

**A/N:** Right-o! 3k+ words, I'm proud of myself! (I hate the writing portion of publishing stories, lol, weird. I like coming up with ideas and stuff; writing is tedious work.) Did you like it? Drop a line to tell me what you think. Do you like Eli, NOW? Or is he still a _bloody_ light house? Tehe. Idk.

P.S. all of my chapter titles/names of my stories are song names that I think relate to the content; so check this one out by Ellie Goulding: Figure 8.

**PLEASE REVIEW. TELL ME IF I'VE MADE A MISTAKE, I'm human, just tell me—nicely please—OR IF YOU'D LIKE TO SEE SOMETHING HAPPEN, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO SUGGEST.**

**Thanks for reading. Until next time.**


	3. Chapter 3: Dark Side

**A/N:** Short Chapter. So to compensate, I'll be posting the next chapter right after this. :-) THANKS EVER SO MUCH TO MY BETA KRISTEN FOR HELPING THIS ALONG! I used it in a gleesecretsanta exchange on tumblr and she proofed it all for me. She's fantastic.

**Warnings:**TYPOS, Angst, Smut, Trigger(ish) warning: there's cutting and vague explanation of homicide, Slash- male|male pairings, that's all I can think of right now.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own these fckn characters yo they all belong to Mr. Murphy and Fox and shit.

**Rate/Review/Blah/Blah: Do all**** that ok**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND STUFFS**

* * *

**Chapter Three: Dark Side**

"Are you sure you have to leave Tuesday, Kurt? I'm sure they can handle a few extra days without you at work. Rachel—I can talk to her she'll understand. My aunt and uncle won't be back until Friday." Blaine made his way to Kurt, who was studiously riffling through his luggage.

Needing the reassurance of an embrace, Blaine wrapped his arms around Kurt's petite waist.

"That's 3 whole days more we can continue to catch up and _discuss_ some very important aspects of our lives." Blaine punctuated his last words with tender open-mouthed kisses to Kurt's shoulder.  
"Blaine, I would love to stay; you know that. I can't, though. I have to see my parents and I have things I need to catch up on in New York. NYADA won't just miraculously accept me. I have work to do—literally and figuratively."

He smoothly turned in Blaine's arms to face him. The disappointment he saw didn't make his imminent departure any less painful.

"I'm sorry. I really would like to stay... but I can't. It's not like we'll be apart long; you're coming to visit for pre-Christmas, right?"

"Yeah. But that's a whole month and a half away." Blaine sighed.

"Blaine, baby..."

This whole having to be away from Kurt for extended periods of time thing was getting old. And it wasn't helping—his relapse. But this was Kurt. Do-gooder, beautiful, amazing Kurt. He deserved happiness and if New York, NYADA, and all the other stuff out there made his Kurt happy—he'd support it. Coming to a resolve, Blaine shook himself and forced away his sorrow. It wouldn't help Kurt's guilt, therefore, it didn't belong; so on a sigh he grudgingly conceded.

"No, no. It's fine. I'm just being selfish. It's okay. We'll see each other again soon and we always have skype/phone dates." Blaine gave a weak, unconvincing smile.

Kurt frowned. He hated leaving Blaine as much as his boyfriend hated to see him go. It was just necessary. He couldn't stay in Ohio for the rest of his life pining away and sulking over a lost opportunity; his denial from NYADA. He needed to fight for the life he'd always dreamt of, but he needed Blaine right by his side. He didn't need him here wallowing in sorrow over his leaving. God—good thing it was only a year more of this. Kurt didn't know if either he or Blaine could handle the strain passed then.

"We'll go out today okay, Blaine? We'll spend all of today out together—just the two of us painting the town in rainbows with glitter and unicorns. Does that sound good?"

The small smile Kurt received gave him a small blossom of hope.

"Sounds great. I'll go shower now. You finish...whatever it is you're doing this your clothes." Kurt glared at the jib.

"Blaine, you of all people know you must thoroughly plan your outfits out-days in advance. I was just making sure they were in order." He sniffed and Blaine laughed as he gave Kurt a final kiss before he went off for his shower.

"Sure, sure."

Maybe it would be alright. He could do this. He had to do this; for Kurt. For Kurt's happiness.

**-?-**

Exhausted and a bit nervous to look at the current state of his poor feet, Blaine came to a decision. If Kurt wanted to continue their day together, which in all actuality was just Kurt shopping—not that Blaine was complaining—he would need a little break. And by little, he meant a half an hour under the canopy of a somewhat nice quaint café in Lima's shopping district. Or the Lima Bean, whichever was closest.

"Kurt, _please,_ can we sit down for a little while? Or maybe an hour. Whichever you feel most comfortable with."

Flabbergasted by Blaine's lacking knowledge of sales, Kurt slowed down to explain the importance of their continued shopping.

"Blaine, there are _deals_ to be utilized. I absolutely adore late Black Friday sales. I always get the best cut-downs on the McQueen scarves."

"Silly me. Forgetting about the deals on scarves." He dramatically smacked his forehead in a show of remorse.

Kurt made a face. "Blaine. Make fun all you'd like—"

As they rounded a corner, Blaine heard the call of a familiar voice.

"Blaine? Is that you?"

Shutting his eyes to stave off the sudden panic that welled up in him Blaine steeled himself and turned to watch as Elliot made his way to he and Kurt.

"Yes, hi, Eli." Blaine quickly looked to Kurt out of the corner of his eye to gauge his reaction and was frightened to see shuttered indifference.

"It's great to see you here! Getting in last minute Black Friday sales, is it?"

"Yes…my boyfriend Kurt is. I'm sorry, how rude of me, Kurt…this is Elliot…a friend, Elliot this is Kurt, my boyfriend."

Kurt stiffly extended his hand and gave a small grimace of a smile when they shook.

"Very nice to meet you, Elliot. I've heard little about you. So, you and Blaine are partners for a project?" Kurt gave a deceivingly sweet smile to accompany his words.

But damn it all too hell. Kurt couldn't get over the fact that not only did Elliot look to be in his late twenties early-thirties, but he was _good looking_. Beautiful chestnut hair styled to perfection, a wide-straight toothed smile with a dimple in his stupid right cheek, and piercing blue eyes that seemed to miss nothing, surrounded by golden skin and slight laugh lines. And his body. God was Kurt pissed off. He had a nice body, not too muscled but defined nonetheless. His Nine West jeans hung loosely off of lean hips and his argyle sweater encased thin arms. A good lucking ass hole. Blaine had _lied_ to him. All of Kurt's insecurities and uncertainties rushed back to him so quickly that he shuddered with their intensity.

"Why, yes. Er, yes we are. We are working very hard to meet a goal that seems impossible. You know teachers." Eli gave a small chuckle but his eyes never left Blaine's, which did not escape Kurt's notice.

"Eli, uh, we better be going. Kurt and I were just on our way to…home. We were going home. I'll see you after break. We can discuss the project later." Blaine grabbed Kurt's hand and hauled him briskly to his car. When they were finally seated, Blaine tried to explain.

"Kurt I'm so-"

"No. We'll talk later. Can you just take me home? I need time." Kurt shook his head sadly.

Blaine felt like punching something. God, Kurt was going to misinterpret everything and think he was cheating. With _Elliot_ of all people. He was in his late thirties, _married_ and had two children. Blaine couldn't even objectively look at Elliot in a manner other than that of an older brother. But Kurt didn't know any of that. If only he weren't such a coward; he would have told Kurt all about who Eli really was, told him why he really lived with his Aunt and Uncle, and how he was so emotionally fucked up that the only way he could make himself feel better was by cutting himself and watching his blood drain out of the tub. But he hadn't and now his relationship was in jeopardy. He was such a mess.

A half an hour later they were stopping before Kurt's house. Blaine had to try to explain one last time.

"Kurt, it's not what you think. I _swear_."

"What's not what I think, Blaine? That you lied to me _twice_ in short of two days. I can't believe you. I came back to apologize for putting my work before you, but you were here. With _him_. Putting _him_ before our relationship." Tears began to mist Kurt's eyes.

"No, Kurt, please. I promise. It wasn't like that. I'm seeing him, but-" Blaine's attempt at an explanation was in vain. Kurt was convinced of his supposed guilt.

"But what, Blaine? But you've only what? Been on a date and kissed? Held hands? _What?_"

Kurt shook his head, tears silently making their way down his pale face. Blaine had never seen Kurt's eyes so empty. It hurt him more than the distance that his move had created. He was so lost. Kurt wasn't listening and he didn't, he _couldn't_ tell him everything, it was too sudden and he knew, he _knew_ that if he didn't let Kurt in on the deep dark secrets of his past that he would be losing the love of his life. But his cowardice won out and he silently sat watching Kurt leave his car, his _life,_ while tears of his own were blazing a trail down his face.

"I can't do this anymore. I'll have Finn go to your place later to get my things." Kurt closed the door and made his way home. The last thing Blaine saw before the door closed was a confused Burt looking down upon his distraught son.


	4. Chapter 4: Dig Into The Waves

**A/N:** Short Chapter. Sot o compensate, I'll be posting the next chapter right after this. :-) THANKS EVER SO MUCH TO MY BETA KRISTEN!

**Warnings:**TYPOS, Angst, Smut, Trigger(ish) warning: there's cutting and vague explanation of homicide, Slash- male|male pairings, that's all I can think of right now.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own these fckn characters yo they all belong to Mr. Murphy and Fox and shit.

**Rate/Review/Blah/Blah: Do all**** that ok**

**PLEASE REVIEW AND STUFFS**

* * *

**Chapter Four: Dig Into The Waves**

Blaine sat listening impassively as the clock ticked on merrily. He couldn't be motivated to care enough about the time. He didn't need to know it or anything else, for that matter. He didn't need to be _here _of all places, either.

"So, are we just going to sit silently again, Blaine?" Elliot asked, frustration clearly lacing his voice.

Blaine couldn't be motivated to care less.  
"Alright, the clock has stopped; off the record. I've allowed you your little pity party for the past week and half, Blaine, because I know what it feels like to have your heart broken, but this has to end. I'm glad that you haven't reverted back to your past methods of stress-relief in the face of this, but your vow of silence isn't any better. I'm your therapist, and friend, not your enemy, and I need you to work with me here. Talk to me. I can't help you if you shut me out."

Elliot's attempt at a dialogue was greeted with resolute silence. The blank, unfocused stare Blaine had settled on the wall opposite him didn't shift in the slightest. As of late, Elliot's familiarity with Blaine, and his personal feelings with this case, had become a problem. The problem wasn't that he couldn't distance himself from the situations he dealt with; he could still handle his clients with the polite professional detachment that was required of him in his field, but the mere fact that he had seen Blaine through the worst of it all—had been there as he'd grown up—didn't allow his logical detached personal persona to keep the situation in perspective. He cared too much to handle Blaine's case professionally, but he was reluctant to see Blaine released and totted off to some uncaring, money hungry piranha who wouldn't know the words to make Blaine see reason or understand that everything he'd been through and was still handling wasn't his fault—well not on a personal, caring basis anyways. They were still working through Blaine's abandonment issues. He'd been doing very well over recent years, his check-in appointments had been looking much better, but Kurt's moving to New York had been a set-back. Elliot didn't want to add to all of this by seemingly abandoning Blaine because he could no longer look at this case objectively without feeling the emotional twinge of worry.

Unconsciously Elliot stood and made his way to sit beside Blaine.

"Will you look at me, Blaine?"

Nothing. Not even a twitch.

"This is not healthy. You're not handling Kurt's leaving well and the starving and social isolation aren't going to help in the least. You will never get him back if you continue in the fashion you've begun. Solitude is all good and well, and a bit of distance for a few days is understandable, but pulling yourself from everyone and drawing up these walls for weeks, isn't. You will truly lose him, and soon yourself, to foolish, immature behavior if you don't stop."

After what seemed like hours of the same still-quietness Elliot had become accustomed to, Blaine slowly turned his head to face him. The first real contact he'd made since the teary, heart wrenching call he'd made the day he and Kurt broke up. Elliot watched as a myriad of emotions played across Blaine's features before his mask of indifference completely fell. This left the heartache and pain of the past few weeks exposed to Elliot.

"I've lost him. I have." The raspy words struck at Elliot's heart. Blaine had become like a son to him, and the evident pain in his voice ate away at him. He felt the paternal pluck of unease that accompanied the times his own children were harmed or feeling hurt.

"No, Blaine, you haven't. Not yet, anyways."

Blaine's eyes gleamed with unshed tears.

"I couldn't tell him. I-I've been lying to him Eli, _lying. _You don't understand how much it hurts to look into his honest bright eyes and lie. All of these years… all this time… I've been holding up some pretense that my parents didn't love me because I was gay and I had to move in with my aunt and uncle." He shook his head mournfully as he looked at Elliot. "He thought I was cheating with _you_." Blaine sniffed and wiped harshly at his face as the hot tears finally made their way from his eyes, Eli just listened, although slightly taken aback by the new revelation.

"It's too much for one person to handle. I-I can't lose him, Eli. He… he's the best thing that's ever happened to me."

The raw emotion was too much for Elliot to handle. His eyes blurred and he was surprised to realize he was tearing up; this scrawny little curly-haired boy he'd been seeing since he was eleven, this man he saw before him, had gone through so much at such a young age.

"How can he love a freak like me?" Blaine choked on a sob, but this didn't deter him and he continued. "I _cut_ myself just to watch the blood drain down the tap. And for a long time I enjoyed it. I liked to see it ha-ppen. It-it would help make all the memories that much easier to handle, to-to manage. I-I could forget for… a little while." His gave a smile that projected deep-sorrow. "I did-didn't have to see my own fucking _mother_ slit my father's throat for those few moments when I would just watch the blood leave me." He rubbed at his eyes and took a deep breath.

"God! This is just all so fucked up! Why me? Eli, I need him. So badly. I need him." Blaine stood and walked to the wall. The surface seemed to have offended Blaine because the resounding crack of bone and the cry of frustration came minutes after he approached it. He sank to his knees and Elliot slowly made his way to him.

"Let me see." Blaine just cradled his injured fist closer as he tried to shake away his dizziness. "Stop being a child. Let me see. If it's broken we have to take you to the E.R."

Reluctantly Blaine let Eli look over his swelling fist. Standing from his crouch, Eli walked to his desk.

"I'm a doctor, but not one who deals strictly with human anatomy; my training was relatively cursory. I'm going to call your aunt and uncle and tell them to meet us at the hospital."

Grabbing his phone Eli quickly got Blaine's relatives on the phone and instructed them briefly on what had happened and that they should meet them in the Lima Central E.R. in twenty minutes. After that was taken care of, Elliot turned his attention back on Blaine. The sight of a distressed Blaine holding his hand tenderly against his chest as silent tears fell from his downcast eyes made Elliot pause. He had to make this right before they became wrapped up in the chaos of Medical Care and frantic parental emotions.

"Blaine? Blaine we'll get through this. You've been through much worse and you've made it out much stronger. I'm so proud of you. So very proud. This goes against my code of ethics, but I've grown to care for you deeply. I admire your strength and perseverance and it's these traits that will get you through _this_, but first you have to allow Kurt in. You need to stop lying to your friends and yourself. They'll understand if they are your real friends. Do you trust me?"

Elliot crossed the space separating him from Blaine and crouched down in front of him again. Blaine slowly raised his swollen red-rimmed eyes to Elliot— his friend.

"Yes." Barely audible, spoken on a gentle exhale.

"Then trust me when I say that Kurt, of all people, will understand and still love you. From what I picked up on when we were introduced, he cares deeply for you. If he didn't, do you think he would have been so hurt by my presence in your life?"

Blaine thought on it for a second and shook his head.

"Exactly. So make things right with him. Christmas is coming up, aren't you booked on a flight to New York? Use that time to explain to him what's going on and who I am. Let's get you to the hospital. Your fist is starting turn purple."

Elliot helped Blaine to stand and, after grabbing his keys and phone, they made their way out.

**-?-**

After a forty-five minute wait in the sitting room with a confused aunt and uncle, an amused Eli, and an hour and a half of x-rays and different tests, Blaine still hadn't seen the physician who dealt with his injury. Then it was another two hours to get to the orthopedic surgeon who they would be consulting for the best plan of action. After they received the address of the surgeon's place of practice, Elliot excused himself. He'd received a call from his wife stating that their daughter wasn't feeling well; so he left the family promising to clear his schedule so that he and Blaine could finish their session as soon as his hand was taken care of. Two hours later they were in a small hospital room and their wait was over.

A sturdy knock at Blaine's hospital door alerted the arrival of his physician. A man with graying hair and half-moon spectacles entered with a clipboard and an annoyingly optimistic disposition. His moderate Irish brogue belied his heritage.

"'ello 'tere, Mr. Anderson. I 'm Dr. Collum Fogarty. Unfortunately, you have broken your hand. I advise surgery so as to not have muscle inflammation due to extra wear and tear of t' hand joint. But 'tis not anything too serious—nothing we can't have patched up in a quick procedure. 'ere is t' x-ray of t' broken metacarpals."

On a bright white back-lit boarding, Fogarty clipped up multiple x-rays of Blaine's hand.

"Luckily your wrist wasn't broken on t' impact. But ye've a broken second and t'rt knuckles."

Blaine's aunt, Theresa Anderson, spoke up.

"When my son fractured his thumb around his eighth birthday, they had him go through a small surgery and gave him a cast. Would this be the same procedure for Blaine?"

Dr. Fogarty gave a small smile and went into an explanation of what would occur for treatment.

"'Aye, 'tis about t' same t'ing. T' cast will be necessary, but small metal pins will be inserted t'rough t' skin in order to hold t' bones in a better position. T' procedure is usually done wit' t' patient under general anest'esia, but may also be done wit' a local anest'esia block. No pain will be felt, boy-o." Collum turned a bright smile on Blaine who replied in turn with a grimace.

The numbing solution they'd placed on his hand was starting to wear-off.

"T' metal pins remain in place for a few weeks while t' fracture heals, and t'n t' pins can usually be removed in me office."

Blaine lost himself in the wake of the brief explanation. He distantly listened as his uncle and aunt asked question after question on what would be required of him after the surgery and what the healing process would incur and if there would be any future problems. He could care less. His talk with Eli kept running through his mind. He knew what he had to do, and he… he was going to do it. He could only hope that the love Kurt had for him hadn't completely diminished and that he'd still love him, if there was any left, after he knew how truly damaged Blaine was.

**-?-**

Over the next two and a half weeks Blaine's hand was healing beautifully. After his virtually painless surgery, he'd spent the ensuing days imagining how his trip to New York would go. He'd have the pins out by the end of this week if Dr. Fogarty gave the okay, which he was hoping for—he couldn't go to New York and woo his boyfriend back with his hand in a cast, although, it might help win him pity points… But with the cast off, at least he'd be able to have one problem behind him. Sadly, he couldn't say his plans to get Kurt back were coming along as smoothly as his healing. He'd devised, then re-devised, then revised his newly re-devised speech to win his Kurt back. He was working his nerve up slowly, but surely, and he was more than certain that come Saturday, he'd be able to face him. Four days to go. Four very long days of his aunt fawning over him and constantly asking if he were alright. His winter break was already off to a bad start.

"Blaine."

There she was. Blaine covered his face with his free hand as he heard her make her way up the stairs. Not again.

"Blaine, honey?"

"Yes, Auntie Resa?" The grim set to Blaine's mouth disappeared when her face popped into the crack of his door.

"Just checking in to make sure you're alright, honey." Her signature smile had been really irritating Blaine lately.

Oh, there it goes. Her amber eyes would morph into these pools of never-ending pity and worry and her smile would be so soft. God Blaine hated that smile. He'd seen it every day since he'd moved in. At first it was understandable, poor child, yes poor Blaine. But twelve years later, it was tiring. He loved her dearly, but her worry was really starting to put Blaine out.

Setting his most charming smile as he stood from his lounge, Blaine made his way to her.

"I'm fine Auntie Resa. Really. I'm just a little busy. Preparing for my trip to New York and all the projects I have due when I'm back at school." Stopping a few feet from where she stood he reached out to gently plant his arms on her shoulders.

"I really appreciate your worry, but I'm a big boy. I don't need you to check in on me every few hours." Theresa gave an impish smile.

"Oh, I know, Blaine. It's just that after your break up with Kurt you seemed so down. I was so worried, but you're looking better. Then you broke your hand. I knew that boxing was no good for you. I'm glad that you called Elliot to come pick you up, though. Let me get out of your hair. Lunch will be ready in five."

Blaine hadn't told her or his uncle that he was seeing Elliot again… no need to worry them over nothing. Elliot understood that he needed to have the sessions, so he'd waived the fee, thankfully. Theresa gave him a light hug before she retreated out the door.

"Oh, Blaine! Your friends called for you. That Sam boy. There was also another… I forget her name. The very happy girl. She graduated last year?"

"Rachel. Rachel called?"

"Yes, that's her name! She said she needed to speak to you. She said to call her back when you were free. Make sure to call Cooper. He wants to see you when you're back from New York." With that she was gone.

Rachel wanted him to call her? There was really only one reason. Kurt hated him and wanted to make sure he didn't go to New York. Blaine sighed as he went in search of his pain medication. He wasn't surprised, really. He'd expected it to be sooner, though. He'd lost his chance and now Rachel was making sure he never hurt Kurt again. He could only feel like it was right. He'd lied and kept secrets from Kurt and karma was coming back to make up for it. He didn't deserve Kurt.

After taking his two for the next twelve hours Blaine went in search of his phone. He'd hid it somewhere after Kurt had rejected his call for the hundredth time. That was before the whole hand thing. He'd thrown it… somewhere… around his bed. Kneeling beside his bed Blaine lifted the overhang and looked.

Nothing.

Well, nothing that he could see. There were a few things scattered.

Maybe it bounced? Sweeping the floor near where it may have possibly 'bounced', Blaine's hand grasped onto a small pendant. He slowly pulled it out and immediately regretted it.

Last year, as a gag gift, Kurt had bought him a falcon shaped brooch. He'd stated that brooches were an essential for any wardrobe and that Blaine _had_ to have one. Blaine had just laughed and thanked Kurt, but never thought he'd wear it. On their second year anniversary, though, Blaine had pulled it out of his drawer and paired it with one of his favorite sweater vests. Kurt was over the moon when he saw it. Blaine had felt it was important to show Kurt that even though it was something he didn't typically wear, that he would solely because his Kurt loved them… tears began to mist Blaine's eyes and he sat with his back against his bed.

A hurricane of emotion over swept Blaine in that moment. Regrets, frustrations, and a deep-seated sorrow he'd been working throughout the years to overcome. Why couldn't he just have a simple life? A simple life where he could love the man of his dreams and not regret fearing his reaction to some past events. Blaine could deal with mild distaste over his clothing choices—that was Kurt. He could handle the little disagreements and the small fights over differing opinions, but he couldn't handle the rejection that he knew would come if Kurt knew that he used self-harm to deal with stress. Or that his mother was schizophrenic, bi-polar.

Blaine shook his head and drew his knees up to his chest. Nothing would ever be easy for him. But he could handle it. He _was_ strong and he had the support of some of the most amazing people he'd ever met. Cooper was a really big help when he just needed someone to talk to. He hadn't been there the night it happened, being away at his first year college; but he had gotten Blaine to Theresa and Bill's home. Home. His home. He could do this. He had a home and a family that loved and supported him. Even if he couldn't have Kurt, he'd always have them. Blaine turned back to his bed-side night stand to check the drawers for his phone one last time and… there it was!

Peeking out from the beneath the night stand was his phone. With some trepidation Blaine turned it on. Fifteen missed calls and ten texts. At least he was right on one front—he did have people who cared.  
Skipping out on Glee Club wasn't his brightest idea, if all the various texts ranging from anger to worry were anything to go by. He replied to each with the same message, 'I'm fine. Just needed time. I'll see you soon; have a good break.' He'd handle the calls from everyone he felt he should explain himself to later. He had to… speak to Rachel first.

Scrolling through his contacts slowly, he found Rachel's number and called. His anxiety after the first ring was over-whelming.

"Blaine? Are you alright?"

Speechless, Blaine just sat wide-eyed staring at his bathroom door.

"Blaine? Why haven't you been answering my calls? Everyone's worried about you!"

Gaining control of his voice Blaine asked a question that set his teeth on edge.

"Kurt's…worried about me?"

Hearing a soft sigh on the other end of the phone, his tension increased.

"Oh, Blaine. The break up has been really hard on Kurt. He hasn't reacted well to hearing your name, but I know that you didn't cheat. You couldn't have; it's just not who you are. Will you tell me what happened?"

Feeling a twinge in his chest Blaine sniffed. Kurt…Kurt didn't care. That's okay. That didn't mean he'd lost his chance. "I can't. I can't tell you what happened until I speak to Kurt. No… no I didn't cheat."

"Good. Good. You need to get your butt out here to tell Kurt that, then! Are you still coming?" Rachel's relief was evident when she spoke.

"Yeah. If I'm given the all clear from my doctor, nothing can stop me."

"Doctor?! Blaine Anderson! What doctor? What happened?"

Blaine explained to Rachel about his 'boxing incident' and that yes, he was fine, but he had to have the pins out because he wasn't sure how the metal in his hand would fair in an airport. The call ended fifteen minutes later with promises to call every day until he left and to be careful.

Blowing out a large sigh of relief Blaine set to tidying up his room as best as he could with one hand. He had some time to waste.

**-?-**

The next few days were torturous for Blaine. He spent half of the time wondering if he would ever feel good about his life and the other half hoping that Dr. Fogarty would say he could have the pins out. That's how we end up here. In the orthopedic surgeon's office awaiting the verdict.

"'Ello, Blaine. Y're hand is lookin' good, I know y'want t' pins out and I'm happy to say we can have t'at handled t'day. Now obviously I want y'to be careful o' y'r hand. It is all healed up fer t' most part, but t'ere is a bit of swelling that should be down in the next week. I want ye' in here come next week Sat'rday fer a check-up with me nurse. I won't be in, but ye'll be in good hands."

Blaine was so over-come with excitement that he didn't care about the check-up or anything else for that matter. He'd be seeing Kurt tomorrow, and hopefully after he'd explained himself, he'd have a boyfriend still.

The next hour saw Blaine having his cast removed and the pins taken out through an awkward process. It didn't hurt as much as it felt odd. The pins were pulled out with stainless steel pliers after the whole hand was numbed. Dr. Fogarty slowly pulled out the two pins in Blaine's fist and cleaned up the surrounding area. A cream or paste was then placed over the open site where the pins were removed from, cotton gauze was laid across the area and he was bandaged. It was all pretty quick.

"Now, I want ye'to clean the wound every day. In t' morn when y'wake up and at night before ye'go to bed. For pain, have t'is prescription filled," Dr. Fogarty scribbled out a note on his stationary and handed it to Blaine's Aunt who stood by vigilantly throughout the whole process. "And y'should be set to rights. If t'ere's any infection of t' area, come in immediately. T'at should be all t'ere is."

"Thank you so much, Doc. I'll be sure to come in next week."

**-?-**

The drive home was filled with Theresa's nonsensical chatter to fill up the silence. Blaine didn't mind it as much as he would have a few days ago. He was feeling pretty eager for his flight in the morning and just… to see Kurt. His prescription was filled and he spent the rest of the day making sure he'd packed everything he'd need. His uncle had sought him out in the kitchen to make sure he had numbers and money to sustain him on his stay, but before he left, he'd stopped to say a few words.

"Blaine?"

"Yea, Unc?" Blaine put down the sandwich he was working on to look up at his Uncle.

"I want ya to know that… I'm proud of you. For handling this whole break-up situation with such strength. A much lesser man would have just locked himself away and never come out, but you set your sights on your target and ya charged it. Er, well. I just wanted you to know that I love ya, kiddo. I'm proud of how far you've come… through everything."

The emotional revelation was a little daunting for Blaine. His uncle was usually so stoic and about-face that this show came out of left field. Not that his Uncle didn't care—no he cared a lot. He'd been there for Blaine from the beginning. When Blaine's dad, his brother, was killed, through Blaine's PTSD, and even through the proclamation of his homosexuality. He'd been the first one at his school—the one before Dalton—filing complaints and demanding repentance for the injuries Blaine had sustained from the bullying. No, his Uncle cared a lot, just not as verbally as his Aunt.

Blaine stood and crossed behind the kitchen's island to stand in front of his Uncle. He smiled and reached out to wrap his arms around his Uncle. He was the shorter of the pair, but it worked.

"Thank you. I appreciate it. I love you too." His words were muffled as he held his face against his Uncle's shoulder, but they were clearly heard by the man he was addressing.

They hugged for a few more minutes and Blaine pulled away to give another smile. He returned to his sandwich more light-hearted than he'd felt in days. He had a great support system and he couldn't be more thankful for it.


	5. Chapter 5: Follow Through

**A/N:** Alright, this is it. Story's drawing to a close. I've gotten it out relatively quickly after it was finished. Hope you liked it. Review, please.

**Warnings:**In first chapter.

**Disclaimer:**I don't own these fckn characters yo they all belong to Mr. Murphy and Fox and shit.

**Rate/Review/Blah/Blah: Do all that ok**

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**Chapter Five: Follow Through**

"I'm here. Yes, I've eaten. No, I'm not there yet. I've just gotten off the plane. No, Resa. It's okay." Blaine chuckled as his Aunt continued to worry over him. It was endearing, if nothing else. "I see Rachel. I have to go. Yes, I'll call if there are any problems. Tell Uncle Rob I love him. Right. Alright. I love you too." Ending the call before Rachel attacked him in a slightly less frantic bear hug than she was good for, Blaine hugged her back gently.

She was being cautious of his hand. Very considerate of her.

"It's so good to see you Blaine! Boy do we have catching up to do! We can talk on the way back to the flat. Let's go."

The walk to the taxi was spent in non-stop talking from Rachel, then a more easily flowing conversation when they were seated. It felt good to just talk with someone and not have to really worry. That's what Rachel was good for, she could be extremely… annoying at times, but it was incredibly easy to talk to her and she held a pretty good conversation too. Two hours later they stopped before a rustic looking warehouse that Rachel explained was her and Kurt's flat.

The building was large and the metal framing looked extremely rusted, but it was in good condition. Rachel unlocked the entrance, and then took him through the door that led to a corridor.

"-and Mrs. Johnson lives here. She's a sweetheart. And this is us."

They stopped in front of a large cargo-looking door that pulled open horizontally on rails.

"Kurt doesn't know you're here, or that you were coming. He thought that after the whole break-up that obviously you wouldn't be using your ticket; so he's not expecting you. I told him I was going out to see a friend…so that's what I'm going to do. Just make sure that you explain to him what you couldn't tell me. He's my best friend, and I love you to bits, but if you hurt him… I can't be blamed for my actions, got me Anderson?" The glint in Rachel's eye brokered no jokes. Rachel was a lot of things, but she was fierce when someone she loved was in danger.

"I promise. I would never intentionally hurt him… we just have a lot that we need to talk through. Thank you for this, Rachel. I truly appreciate it."

She gave him a hug and kiss before she turned on her heel and walked away, Blaine watching her progress.

"No problem. Just remember what I said."

And she was gone. Blaine turned back to the door and stared at it for at least ten minutes before he got up the nerve to open it. On the other side of the door, a spacious loft greeted him. No sign of Kurt. He walked in and closed the door and dragged his bag over to what he supposed was the sitting area.

"Rachel, is that you? I thought you were out with friends-" Kurt's greeting ended when he made his way around the large wall that doubled as a book case and his eyes found Blaine's.

"Hi, Kurt." Blaine's eyes held so much hope as they gazed at Kurt.

Kurt couldn't handle it.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked as he wrapped his arms around himself, pulling his hood tighter against his body.

"I came to talk to you. I need to talk to you. There are some… things that you need to know about me. The first being that I have never and will _never_ cheat on you." Blaine was uncertain about how Kurt was feeling. His expression was guarded and he seemed ready to throw Blaine out without a care about what he needed to say.

"How can I believe you when you've already proved your untrustworthiness? You've lied to me Blaine. You _lied_ about who that man was, because he sure as hell was _not _one of your classmates, and if I can recall clearly, you lied about talking to your uncle, _to cover up your fucking talking to _**him**." Kurt was so angry that his usual composure had flown out the window, across town, and back to Ohio.

Kurt stood breathing deeply as he glared at Blaine.

'The _audacity_ to come here and lie again. I can't believe I ever-'

"He's my therapist. Eli is my therapist." Blaine shifted on his feet showing his discomfiture with the subject.

"Oh sure he is. I'm sure he gives you very good treatment. Is that how you learned all that new stuff in bed? With _Elliot?_ You're sick you know that. How could you come here and flaunt your relationship with him in my face like this?" Kurt's eyes misted over and he seemed so broken. "I thought you _loved _me. How could you do something like that? To me? To us? You know what's funny, though? The fact that you embarrassed me in front of the _whole_ Glee Club last year because you assumed that I was cheating."

Blaine was so stunned that he just stood in place with his mouth open. He and Kurt had… worked through that and it had seemed to be all cleared up. His desperation to not see Kurt leave him for New York, _for another man_, had caused him to jump to conclusions and feel insecure about his friend with—what's his name? Caleb? Caylen? It didn't matter. It was low of Kurt to reference that, but even more, he wasn't listening.

"Kurt. You're not listening to me. Elliot," Blaine wildly gestured towards the direction Ohio was, "is my therapist. I've been seeing him for the past seven years."

Torn in-between just forcing Blaine out so he could have a good cry alone, then a nice helping of Pistachio ice cream, and listening to see where the hell this next lie was going to go, Kurt looked into Blaine's eyes. He saw sincerity and the hint of something else. Desperation? Sorrow? He couldn't place it.

"Why should I believe you? Give me one reason, one good reason to believe you and I'll listen."

Blaine sat down heavily into the chair nearest to him and he thought. He thought about all the good their relationship had seen in the past two years and he thought about the love he had for Kurt. He had to get him to believe him if it was the last thing he did. There were no other options. Kurt was his heart, his soul, his being. If only he had possessed the strength to tell him everything from the beginning…

"Because there was a reason you trusted me with your heart in the beginning. There is a reason you have…had, continued to give me your love through these years. You know me—better than I know myself sometimes, and you know that I mean what I'm saying to you. You're just afraid of what you think I may say. Kurt, you are undoubtedly the best thing that has ever come into my life and I love you more than words can describe. You made a promise to me, a month and a half ago to be _here_. To listen when you can and to love me. I'm holding you to that now. Just listen to what I have to say, and… and make your final calls then?" A single tear fell from Blaine's eye as he looked up to plead with Kurt.

It hurt to hear the words he'd said thrown back at him, but it wasn't his fault that Blaine had... had cheated. He hadn't done anything wrong.

'Except pull yourself away from him as soon as you were confronted with the possibility that he didn't tell you everything.'

Well, there was that. But still… sighing in defeat Kurt slowly walked to the lounge chair adjacent to the couch where Blaine sat. He looked so beaten, he looked like Kurt felt. Lost.

"Alright." That one word had never been more beautiful to Blaine. He silently rejoiced in the small feat he'd won, but held his optimism in check. There was still a few more hurdles to jump before he could be truly happy.

"This is something that I've never told anyone. I… I don't know _how_ to tell anyone. I guess I'll start with Eli… Elliot. He's a psychiatrist by degree, but practices psychoanalysis. From what I know he was a prodigy and completed medical school by the time he was in his late twenties. That's where I come in. My aunt and uncle, they had noticed things about me. My mother, well, she…" Blaine lost his words for a moment. He'd never spoken about these things outside of Elliot and his cousins and immediate family—aunt and uncle—knew by default what he had gone through, so it was never openly spoken about, unless he broached the subject. This was so hard. But he owed it to Kurt.

"My mother killed my father when I was around six."

The gasp of horror Blaine heard didn't surprise him. Kurt probably thought he was a freak already. He didn't dare turn to look at Kurt. To see the disgust in his face forming.

"I was there when it happened. I'm not going to go into vivid detail—suffice it to say that my youthful innocence was destroyed pretty early-on. After that, my brother flew home from school, got me from child protective services and took me to my Aunt and Uncles. I started to… draw things. And do things. They didn't know how to handle it. They had two children of their own that they were dealing with, but they did the best they could. They tried to find counselors and clinicians to… to talk to me. But it was hard. Me being so young. They did find one, and after a few months of the sessions it seemed to be getting better. I was getting better."

Staring off into bitter nostalgia Blaine was taken back to that time when he was younger. When he hadn't completely understood why mommy had hurt Daddy, or why any of the bad stuff had happened to him. But Ms. Becca had explained it. She had explained it all to him. She'd told him it was okay to express himself, just not in such sad ways. That's how Ms. Becca had described the mutilated drawings and the violent outbursts. It had gotten better. Or at least it at had seemed that way. Turns out it had just been suppressed until he could better relieve the mounting tension that had been building from the first drop of his father's blood on his little cherubic face.

Unknowing of Blaine's walk down memory lane, Kurt sat speechless. He didn't have thoughts. He couldn't form coherent sentences. This all seemed so real. No one could make something so sick and twisted up and he was nothing if not completely convinced that Blaine was telling him the truth. He wasn't sure if he could, or should, try to comfort Blaine. This whole situation was so disconcerting. Kurt wished that Blaine would look at him.

"When I was ten—that's when the cutting began. I was a pretty smart kid. I could understand a lot more than people gave me credit for. One day I had come across my Aunt's razor in her restroom. Hers' and my uncle's. I couldn't shake the feeling that if I just took out one of the blades that it would somehow make me feel better. Make the… the tingly pressure go away."

"Oh, Blaine…" Kurt got up from his seat and slowly walked towards Blaine to hesitantly pull him into his arms. The cuts on his inner thighs made sense. This was no longer just a distant scenario being spun off to explain some wayward escapade. This was real and this was his Blaine.

"I-why didn't you tell me any of this?" Kurt was shaken, but this wasn't about him. It was about Blaine.

Blaine chuckled humorously.

"Because it's easy to just go up to your boyfriend and tell him that your mother was mentally ill and that you cut yourself."

Blaine shook his head as he tried to pull away from Kurt. He knew that if Kurt rejected him now, he wouldn't be able to stand it. He couldn't live any longer if he couldn't live his life with Kurt.

"Yes. You do." Stunned by the softly spoken words, Blaine turned to look into Kurt's eyes for the first time since the beginning of his dark tale.

He could definitely see pity in Kurt's eyes, but there was more. A distinct sorrow and a…determination. For what?

"You're saying this now. You-you haven't heard it all. I'm not sure if I want to tell you more than what I've told you, right now…at this moment, but—but you should know about Eli. He started seeing me when my cousin found me bleeding to death in the restroom. I was eleven by that time and I guess old enough to see a big-boy mental doctor." Blaine mocked their wording. Big boy doctor. He chuckled.

"Elliot had just finished his last year of schooling and he had started up a new practice. My aunt and uncle had exhausted their reserves by the time they got to him. I started seeing him. I was reluctant to see another Ms. Becca, even if he were a Mr.—so the sessions always ended the same. Me in stony silence and Eli patient and calm. I don't know why he took me on, I was so young, but he did and he kept seeing me until I opened up. After that… he just kept me on. I was seeing him regularly and even though I was seeing him, I was still secretly cutting. It didn't end until around my thirteenth birthday and didn't happen again until you left."

By the time Blaine and finished, Kurt was in tears. He blamed himself for so much. Ignoring Blaine. Not seeing the signs. Not knowing that he was seeing a therapist. The times Blaine couldn't see him, made sense now. And the careful wording his relatives used around Kurt, it just all clicked into place. He was so selfish. A terrible boyfriend. If he couldn't have been there for Blaine then, who was to say he would be there for Blaine when he needed him in the future?

"I can't be enough for you." Kurt choked out on a sob.

Confused and feeling a lot more than vulnerable, Blaine didn't know how to take Kurt's words. Was he rejecting him? Was Blaine too much for him to handle?

"I-I understand." Ducking his head so Kurt wouldn't see how heartbroken he was or the tears that had been burning behind his eyes for the majority of his story finally be released. He finally pulled away and shakily made his way to his luggage.

"I…I'm sorry that you've wasted so much of your life with me. I hope you find someone that is more manageable. Less of a freak."

Kurt quickly walked to Blaine and spun him around.

What was he doing? Blaine wasn't leaving was he? Freak?

"Blaine Christopher Anderson, you are the least freaky person I know. Please, look at me?" When Blaine finally did, Kurt sucked in a deep breath. Blaine seemed so dead.

"Blaine, please? I love you so much sometimes I just have to sit down because the overwhelming nature of it makes me light-headed. I can't believe you'd think that after that, after _all of that_ that I would just let you walk away from me. There is no one more manageable than you. No one. There is no one else for me, but you."

Kurt gently cupped Blaine's face and caressed the tears away.

"But… how can you love me? After knowing about all of that? I'm sick in my head." Blaine started to harshly jab at his head with his pointed fingers, but Kurt halted the action almost as immediately as it began.

"No you're not. Don't you ever say that again! What your mother is, what your mother was, that is not you. You are not what that sick woman came to be and you never will be. You are too kind and caring to so selfishly put yourself or your children in harm's way like that. Too strong to allow something to take over you like that. I'm so sorry I didn't see all of this sooner. I'm so sorry I jumped to conclusions and that I didn't listen. Again. It seems that I'll never get it right, but if you allow me, if you take me as I am, I promise to live the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. To prove just how precious and beautiful you are to me, even with everything that's happened to you; I will do my best to do that every day."

Crying was becoming a recurring action for Blaine. He'd shed so many tears over so short a life. He didn't want to cry anymore. He didn't want to have to go at his nightmares alone. He wanted Kurt to help combat that horrible thoughts and memories with him. But could he truly handle all that Blaine encompassed?

"Kurt, I'm just… I'm s-so much to dr-drama. Ca-can you honestly s-say you want that? For t-the res-t of your life?"

Kurt pulled Blaine to him gently and massaged his fingers through Blaine's hair; the way he knew Blaine liked it.

"For the rest of my life and beyond. I don't want anything else. You're it for me, Anderson. Like it or not, you're stuck with me."

**The End**

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**A/N: **Did you enjoy it? It's cute, right? All trigger warnings aside… Well, thanks for reading. Check out my other stories if you're bored.


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